Upon getting to Indian Rock, Martin put the blankets we brought up ontop of his hearse. And he helped me up ontop of it with him. KM joined us, but soon was back down on the ground. Martin and I sat together up on top waiting for the night to begin. We talked all evening and even all through the fire works show as we now layed next to each other just watching all around. Not that talking non stop is anything unusual for us. We tend to talk non stop from the time we met when ever we are together.
I have to admit, I was kinda scared being up there at first. So he kept a hold of me the whole time, of which turned out being really nice. Ofcours now... I'm a little more brave about it all, but never would I have had the courage to try it without him, lol..
After a bit, he had to get back to the house he had been staying the night with, as he lives a bit out of town and would sometimes stay with friends in town for gas reasons. (He worked in town)
However, we both were not ready to call it a night. So he drove us to his friends place where we put a blanket back up on his hearse, climbed back ontop and layed back to look at the stars while KM continued to sit in the car browsing the net... but... looking at the stars was difficult as we noticed just how much tree was hanging over us... although that wasn't the hugest deal as we both knew we weren't climbing back ontop of the hearse for the stars, so much as we were wanting to spend time together, getting closer.
We talked all night long. The whole time knowing Steve would be home stewing. But we didn't care. We just couldn't pull ourselves away from each other. We kept talking about me and KM moving in with him. And about how we have always clicked right from the second we met. As if we had always known each other, reunited.
As we spoke he kept leaning in.
And then.... we kissed... I was really happy about it... but thinking.... "um, I just kissed my best friend... I don't think we are just friends anymore... We just brought this up to an amazing level."
I didn't know what to do. It was like time stopped and I just layed my head down on the black top of his hearse since the blanket had moved around. He layed his head down facing me.. we just layed there for what felt like an eternity, quiet... I wanted to kiss him again so bad. But I felt paralyzed for the moment... waiting to see what his next move was. But I think he was waiting to see what mine would be. Me needing him to be in control since Steve had conditioned me at this point that I couldn't be the one to reach out, or take control, and felt torn between what I wanted to do, and what I hadn't been allowed to do in the last 3 months. As I fought with my own thoughts, I finally decided, I was gonna have to make the move forward. He was so polite, so careful to not do anything offensive, he needed to know it was ok. So I moved forward, and he met me half way.. After that, he was stealing kisses left and right, and I.... was loving it. How gentle he was, so careful.
Then he asked... "How soon can you move in?" We both giggled a little and I wished it could have been that night. I told him that Steve said he had a place to go to that weekend. However he's constantly back and forth. But it doesn't matter. This is the 4th time in 3 months he packed his bags. I'm not playing his games anymore. If he doesn't leave this weekend, then I will kick him out if I gotta. I hope to not have to. I hope he just leaves. But so far, this weekend he should be out."
Martin holds up his fingers, crossed..
For me, at this point.. with 4th of July being on Monday... this weekend seems so far away... How am I gonna get through what is going to seem like forever.... How am I gonna deal with someone who is increasingly treating me like dirt while I know I now have someone who will treat me amazing... ugh, I knew if this got out of control, I could count on Martin stepping in and helping me out with this. But I didn't want this to be some horrible extreme. Although.. if Steve finds out that I'm on my way to a better life, who knows what he will pull, and my daughter lives there too..
Durring this time while Steve is still in my house, I can't let him know. I mean, he broke up with me, hes packing, I've done nothing wrong. But that doesn't mean he won't possibly tear my house up, or do something else wrotten. When he gets mad, he goes out of his way to hurt you. Get you back. And KM and I didn't need that.
I had a week of this, or longer if he proves to be difficult getting out. This is going to suck cause I have no idea how this will end.
To be Continued....
